Become More

It is interesting to note several positive shifts that have taken place over the past few decades. Among the significant ones is the increasing opportunities for women to take up professional pursuits outside home and what they have achieved. 

Women have traditionally been as adept at working in corporate and business structures as they have been at managing the complex home responsibilities and the expectations that arose from social and cultural conditioning. 

Many among us would have been privy to instances of a mother, a grandmother or even our great grandmothers who might not have had formal professional experience and yet exhibited tremendous sagacity and wisdom through simple conversations. Some of their innate perspicacity might even startle business leaders.

The initial Change Agents

Most women who are currently septuagenarians or octogenarians possessed the ability, confidence and aspiration to join the work force in their twenties. At that time, the window of opportunity was limited, and taboos ran strong among the social milieu. Yet, some of them exemplified the courage to dream. 

The majority however were inadvertently constrained by their conditioning and the deep social bias that dictated what women should pursue, or not. They put their dreams to bed without overt sulking, channelizing their abilities into the multifarious domestic responsibilities. Their attention was taken up in ensuring that the household ran smoothly and their daughters and sons were raised to realize their true potential and live out their dreams. I would like to call this set of amazing women the real change leaders. 

For every change to happen, there is a generation that sows the seeds, even though they might not get the opportunity to enjoy the fruit of their labour. Their satisfaction is in being an enabler for other women to dream big and achieve their goals. These wonderful women, the initial change agents made peace with their own situation, worked along with their partners to build strong family foundations, and more importantly paved the way for other women to live their dreams in entirety.  

 

The Pathbreakers

Thence came the next generation of women. They had been raised by the initial change agents. These women had been brought up to aspire for themselves, being open to a professional career, and saying no to marriage till they gave shape to their own dreams. These women had the environment, job opportunities and a sliver of social acceptance at work. However, it wasn’t all hunky-dory, yet. 

They still had to contend with meeting every expectation on the home front. Responsibilities at both the office and domestic end had to be fulfilled satisfactorily, without too much empathy or real support from either side. This was further aggravated at the prospect of impending motherhood. The latter became a key reason for a lot of women to leave work temporarily or in most cases, for an inordinately long time, if not forever. For instance, maternity leave in the 1990’s was around 3 months, often layered with self-inflicted guilt for not being able to contribute at office or for leaving a new-born at home while at work. A lot of families still expected the lady of the house to meticulously meet all the domestic duties while she struggled to prove her mettle at work. The generally accepted notion at the time was that ‘allowing’ the woman to work was granting her a concession instead of it being her right and choice. 

 

It would have been rather easy for most women to give up on either their work aspirations or their domestic affiliations. Admittedly, some did too. But a significant segment of women persevered, gently yet firmly. I would like to call these resilient women, pathbreakers. They fearlessly cut through the knots that bound them and paved the way for recognition and support at both home and at work. They demonstrated willingness and the courage to create awareness of bias and communicated the need for a fair world that would eventually help the next generation of women. They created the foundation to sustain women at work. 

Times are changing, and none too soon!

Policies changed. Families learnt to support women with careers. While a lot of working women still faced burnout or dropped off the corporate ladder, a significant number of them had the satisfaction of finally achieving their work life balance and enjoying their lives fully. 

Cut to women in Gen Y&Z. They are often labelled as the privileged ones. Relatively speaking, they have an abundance of opportunities, the support of most of their family members, and the right to make their own choices. Yet, they have their fair share of challenges too. The current crop of young working women have the invisible yet palpable responsibility of building on the relentless work done by the initial change agents and the pathbreakers. And doing their own bit for those that will come in their wake. 

Today, while coaching professional women I find that despite the apparent abundance, the fundamental challenges remain. Despite the education, there is limited freedom. This was seen amplified during the pandemic where a lot of women had to give up their career to take care of home or how some of them faced challenges working from home due to the incessant demand by family and domestic chores during work hours. To be sure, it could have been worse. Families, including the men and the boys at home made genuine efforts to help out. But the onus of keeping the domestic machinery running was silently yet subtly the woman’s domain, still!

The challenges might always remain, despite all the noise on diversity and women empowerment.  They must be overcome with courage, support, perseverance and passion in order to lead a fuller life. Here is where the gap is. I see some young women assuming that their career is 100 % of their life leaving them no time for anything else like socialising, pursuing hobbies or investing in the self. This is taking them to the other extreme and leading to wellness issues too. 

There are many young women who are still scared to dream a full life for themselves; who truly believe that the world has obliged them by allowing them to work. There are others who assume that they need to work harder to keep proving themselves or that they need to delay or sacrifice cherished life goals, e.g., taking a break to travel or getting married or embracing motherhood or pursuing a hobby, out of fear of losing out on their career.  

To all young women of today, I wish to send positive thoughts and heartfelt wishes that you stay stronger and confident. Be secure in your abilities and talent. Explore your full potential fearlessly across all aspects of your life. Create your support system. Live your dreams, don’t push them away or kill them. Be the woman at home and a professional at work. Lend your hand to uplift other women and men. Practise work life balance so that you are happy, healthy and successful. Carry forward the baton of diversity, inclusivity and equity. You are shaping the future of women at work. Craft it with care. Become more of yourself, not lesser.

Become more