Having worked in the global humanitarian and development sectors for the last 3 odd decades now, I know one thing for sure: leadership is a trait that can be learnt, should one choose to lead. It’s a skill that can be learnt by anyone. It transcends class, caste, creed, colour, disabilities, cultures, ethnicity, age.

Transformational leaders will always look for ways to dismantle oppressive status-quo

I have worked with various leaders in the last three odd decades, in several countries. People, who may not have grandiose formal titles, but their actions and their presence inspired confidence and change.

In the late 90s, I worked in the villages of the Indo-Nepal border, with women, who for the first time in their lives, learnt to sign their name when we helped them in opening their first bank account. Some of the women were in their late 40's, many of them more than 55 years of age! I witnessed their pride when they saw the utter surprise in the male bank officer's face on being asked for a pen, instead of the ink pad they were given to stamp their thumb.

I also witnessed these same women, mobilise, self-govern, demand better health and road conditions. A particularly bold story is forever imprinted in my mind – how, mobilised by their group leader at that time, women from several villages marched to the district magistrate’s office to question why the funds allocated for roads were misused, and by who all! It was their first protest march. Many were threatened by their husbands. All were united in their purpose of not being ignorant and abused any more. Usha Devi, their leader, who did not even finish primary school, mobilised and led them.

My role was to plant the seeds. They not just took those seeds but planted and nurtured plenty more. They also spread their newfound confidence and sass across villages in that district!

Transformational leaders will always, by their presence and actions, energise and inspire others to do more than they thought possible.

In early 2000, working on the CHILDLINE project with Butterflies, a non-government organisation in Delhi, I was inspired by the phenomenal leadership of children as young as 10 years old. These children were called “street kids” – kids who had run away from their home due to poverty, abuse, or other reasons, and surviving with as much dignity as they can muster on crude, cruel streets of Delhi in India.

I worked with these children and saw how they had mobilized again and again to demand safer "work" conditions in garbage dumps, and safer living conditions in municipal shelters.

I was extremely privileged to spend 6 magnificent days, in 2006, in the mountains of Papua New Guinea (PNG) amongst all the women who contested the 2007 general elections.

I co-designed and co-facilitated a week-long residential workshop on leadership. I got lessons on leadership from them! In a staunchly patriarchal society, these women in PNG, dared to contest the general elections; most did not have enough campaign money; many were survivors and victims of gender-based violence. All had a vision for a freer, fairer PNG. All had the gumption look their countryfolks in the eyes to make a statement about their presence, their being - by putting forth their candidature, contesting against men who had everything - money, muscle and patriarchal blessings! Papua New Guinea, even today, has some of the highest rates of gender inequality in the world. Women remain underrepresented in PNG's political system. In the 2022 national election, only 2 of the 113 seats in parliament were held by women, representing just 1.7% of the total seats!

Transformational leaders will always have an authentic desire to serve a cause bigger than themselves.

I have lived in PNG for 8 years and have been back several times since leaving the country in 2014. In each of my visit, I have met innumerable inspirational leaders who are transforming systems and structures by their leadership.

In 2023, I was left spellbound by Bolena’s selfless service and leadership. The enormity of her mission and the depth of her capabilities are nothing short of phenomenal. Bolena, who lives in the Eastern Highlands of PNG has, so far, helped more than 451 vulnerable pregnant women deliver 418 babies safely, in the last 3 years, providing them with all the care needed post-partum. She has been doing this without any donor funding, using her own limited resources.

In the same trip, I also met Clerah Goveh, and was blown away by her selflessness. When covid ravaged the country, she was one of the first ones to go out to save lives! Using plastic bags, she sew them as protective wear, she knocked on every door in the large University of Goroka campus, to test people for covid and provide them with whatever was available to her to safeguard.

In September 2023, I met Cu in Ho Chi Min city and was inspired by his humble, soft leadership. I remember a particularly poignant conversation we had on male allyship and role modelling.

He:“Most women, in Vietnam, believe they are born to serve.”

Me:“How can this situation change? What should men do to change this?”

He:That’s a challenging question. It’s difficult. In the past, I saw my sisters and mother did everything. After marriage my wife did all the household work. I did not do anything. Even though I participated in lots of projects on gender equality and was aware of gender issues, I did not do any household work. When my wife went to the University for higher studies, I had to take charge of the household and our children. I experienced her burden. Something in me shifted then. I changed. Gender inequality is created by men. Men perpetrate and perpetuate gender inequality. They can end it.

Me:So, why don’t they?

He:Men think they will lose… men need to tell men we don’t lose.

Cu, in his simple, humble ways, tells other men about the harms caused by gender inequality.

In Hanoi, in 2023, I met Quyen. She worked various jobs, for 10 years, to get the essential experience to start her own enterprise. She was unable to complete University because it was inaccessible for her. Manoeuvring her wheelchair proved impossible! In 2018, she opened her own company, and the week before I met her in August 2023, she had opened a café in Hanoi’s famous Old Quarters. She employs 100 people in her company; 30% of whom are people with diverse disabilities. In her cafe, most of her employees are hearing impaired people.

Transformational leadership is credible, genuine, honest leadership.

Transformative leaders lead with humanity. There is no doubt in this. Without humanity, the essential human connection, no person can lead. No person is a leader without their humanity.

I know for certain, that people with the capabilities and the heart to inspire, mobilise and transform oppressive systems and structures have a few traits in common.

INSPIRES: They are humble, self-aware, curious and inspires confidence.

People who lead with humanity are aware of their limitations. They take ownership of what they don’t know, seek and build a community with diverse capabilities and, provide the space and the sass for all to grow, thrive and do everything that needs to be done to address inequities, discrimination and prejudice. They have an insatiable curiosity:People who lead with humanity learns, unlearns, individually and collectively, allows and supports seeking out new experiences, and an openness to challenge and change. I love to say, nothing is rocket science except rocket science itself. As I found myself moving from one role to another, I realised that even though I may not have a certain requirement for the role (either specific experience in a particular country context or issue), I do have common sense, critical thinking and a great thirst for learning. I picked up my skills on the job - and continue to do so!

IMAGINES: They are active listeners, active doers, actively engages and boldly imagines.

People who lead with humanity connects with people and build communities of care and compassion. In my work on dismantling oppressive systems, structures, policies and processes, I know the combined voices and efforts of humans is utterly powerful. I know, that to lead is to gather all, with me, on a common purpose. The inspiring American political activist, Angela Davies puts it succinctly, when she said, "you have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time."

IMPACTFUL: They are persistent and resilient.

People who lead with humanitypersists, rests, and remains determined to dismantle oppressive systems, structures, policies, and practices. Such leaders are impactful, and their legacies remain even whey are no longer associated with the organisation or project. I have seen this again and again, even in the most impoverished of places - the skill, the ability to fight for difficult goals despite challenges and to bounce back from adversity; the fierce commitment to excel in the pursuit of unselfish goals. I have worked with such transformational, impactful humans in India, Indonesia, West Africa and Oceania. I have experienced their smarts and sass, and saw how they knew when to let go, how to let go, and where to let go.

And finally, people who lead with humanity are honest.

My experiences as a leader have been some of the most rewarding and enriching in my life, thus far. When my 12 year old daughter asked me the other day, how I have “goofed up” I took the time to reflect on my many leadership fails.

Over the years there have been many times I have failed.

I have failed to achieve tasks I committed to.
I have failed to deliver within timelines I committed to.
I have also failed to maintain my own standards and even values at times, in my hurry to do something.

And these are the most painful failures of all:

I have failed through anger, shame, faking it till my heart hurt, lack of courage and basically trying to be someone I am not.

I have failed to keep insecurities at bay, and allowing it to make me say and do things I don’t believe in.

Sometimes I have failed in not leading with humility. Sometimes I have failed in not accepting responsibility immediately.

I have failed in taking criticism and allowed it to beat myself down.

I have failed in self-compassion.
I have failed in self-care.

As I mature in years and experience, as I continue to learn and unlearn, and most importantly, as my daughter continues to keep me accountable, I strengthen my self-compassion muscle.

I strengthen my resilience muscle.

I goof up.
I reflect.
I take actions to change.
I do not beat myself down.
I revel in my imperfections.
I check in my values and integrity quotient and re-wire.

This provides me the fuel to continue working, in every way, to question, challenge and dismantle oppressive status quo.